I’ve been on hiatus for a week or so and it’s not even planned. I mean, yes, maybe I grew tired of blogging and/or reading blogs but I still do check out my Facebook. But last week, I just stopped. Didn’t touch any internet-powered stuff (my phone’s 3G is off) and just let my days pass without even bothering to know what’s happening in the social world. I guess I have to blame the results of the recent Senatorial election for the hiatus. Seeing the results just made me go beeenkk.
It felt good actually, the hiatus — to somehow detach from the internet, spend time alone, working on making myself more valuable.
I think I am having a quarter-life crisis or something. I feel like I just got lost or confused on what I really want to be, or do, or work on. I quit my job which I have been holding on for almost three years, took a risk on my dream company which BTW took me a month and a whole lot of torture before I got in (but I’m not complaining because it’s all worth it!!). Little did I know, that the decision I made has a huge (huge as in H-U-G-E) impact on the people I’m working with and it made me sad. I was crying for a day because I hate the fact that people are hurting because of me in which I don’t want to feel guilty about because, hey, it’s my decision to make and it’s my dream I am chasing, right? But I guess, for every action there’s always an equal/opposite reaction.
Taking a new road, stepping out of my comfort zone is I guess, one of the bravest things I have done in my 23 years of living. They say I am blessed to get my dreams at a young age, and yes, I feel like I am and can never be any grateful because of that. But at the same time, I am still scared. Getting what you really want sometimes is more scary than not getting it. Because there’s a greater fear of losing it again, of hurting, of failing. But I will always remember what Nick Vujicic said : failure equals education and that if there’s one thing you really really want, you just gotta pursue it. I also believe that yes, good things happen to those who wait, but the greatest things in life happen to those who pursue! :D
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but lately I’ve realized that sometimes you have to put in the effort yourself to make something you want to happen, happen. And if it doesn’t end up working out, then you’ll know it wasn’t meant to be — but at least you tried. And hey, you can always try again! Things will work out. As long as you make an effort to make it happen.