Choices

tumblr_mu3u3pB8ap1qiv8nio1_400I think the reason we are where we are is not because of some fate or destiny or whatever cliches people call it. I think it always goes down to our own choices.

We are thrown to a lot of situations — good and the bad. How we react to it — how we choose to react to it will eventually lead to something, somewhere, someone.

And as much as it hurts to be here — I guess I’d still choose you.

I would still choose to write you love letters I will never send.

I would still laugh with you as if I am not falling at the sound of your laugh.

I would still choose to listen to your stories while you look at me in the eyes as if I am not loving the way you look at me.

Above all, I would still choose to keep this a secret. Because I know you will never choose me.

Saturday Morning Thoughts

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I wanna write you love letters but will never send them. Cause you don’t have to know. You can never return them anyway.

I wanna sing you love songs. But you won’t hear them. Cause you never really listen. You may love the music but you don’t mind the lyrics. You love the feeling. But you never wanna know the meaning.

I guess this is all we will ever be. Two people scared of intimacy and love and affection and pain.

Althoguh I wanna know….what if?

What if we fear together?

Oh I’m crazy…

Crazy about you.

Maybe or Maybe Not

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(PHOTO CREDIT : HAPPYFINGERS)

Maybe I’m lost. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just a girl wanting to be found. Or maybe I just want to run away so no one could ever hurt me. Or just want to stay just because I have nowhere else to go.

I am scared of what’s out there. I’m scared of pain. I’m scared to be broken, though being broken is all I am.

Will I ever be okay? Can I still find my way back home?

 Cause I miss home. I miss myself.

Fall Down. Stand Up.

Happyfingers Photography
I’m baaaaaaaaack! I was thinking of going back to Tumblr but my laptop has been dead for months now and I only have this office laptop which prohibits Tumblr….so here I am back in WP! :)

I got a new tattoo last May on my right rib which summarizes what I have gone through the past few months but let’s skip that. Jhay Colis of 55 Tinta was so patient with me the whole time! Thanks Jhay!

Also, I just had this sexy shoot with Don of Happy Fingers Photography last Sunday and I just love all the photos he sent me this morning. I wish I could share them all but they’re too sexy my parents are gonna kill me.

Hmmm…so does anybody still read this blog? :(

100 Films — Ruby Sparks

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100 films 2013 — APRIL AND MAY

002 Ruby Sparks (2012) - ★★★★★
003 The Bridesmaids (2011) - ★★★☆☆
004 The Host  (2013) ★★★★☆
005 Upside Down (2012) - ★★★★☆
006 Hugo (2011) ★★★☆☆
007 The Breakfast Club (1985)  - ★★★★☆
008 I am Sam (2001) - ★★★★★
009 About a Boy (2002) - ★★★★☆
010 August Rush (2007) ★★★★☆

I haven’t watched much movies during summer because I have no means to download! Good thing Mr. O got some of the movies above from his boss.

Of all, my favorite is Ruby Sparks. It’s pretty interesting and really entertaining. Plus I love the setting of the movie. It’s so pleasing to the eyes. I also love how the plot went. Very unpredictable! Really, a must watch!

I hope this project progresses this June. Now that I am busier at my new work, good luck with that!

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Best Awkward Episode, yet!

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Awkward Season 3, Episode 7

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER BECAUSE MATTY IS SO CUTE WHEN HE TRIED TO DANCE, WHEN HE ACTUALLY DANCED, WHEN HE ENJOYED IT, AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE’S DANCING ON THE LAST PART!!!!!!! I THINK I DIED IN HIS CUTENESS!!!

I am was a Jenna-Jake fan but NOW I AM ROOTING FOR MATTY (also because Tamara and Jake look adorable together)!

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Why I love weekends

I always look forward to weekends because I get to rest, and by rest I mean sleep. But this weekend is a different from my usual weekends.

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Friday was ended with some catching up with my closest friends at work. It’s been a year or so when we last did this and it felt good to get together again. I will surely miss these girls because for three years, we had a LOOOOOT of moments together, memorable ones. I had my first ever alcoholic drink with them, got really drunk for the first time with the same people, they witnessed my two heartbreaks, someone got married and had a baby, two of them got their boyfriends while the other two remain single even after three years (I KNOW!). It’s a rollercoaster ride but such ride is worth it because I have learned so much. I have became matured — financially speaking,because being the youngest they teach and encourage me to save money. If there is one thing that I am grateful for when I worked with Jollibee, it’s the fact that I met these people, that despite all the misunderstanding and drama, at the end, I still got their backs and they got mine. I wish nothing but the best (cliche) and hope that I can have the same kind of friends at my new work. *fingerscrossed*

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I guess everyone knows Aia. Well, she texted me yesterday afternoon, inviting me to their house to shoot with our film cameras. But since I have read her texts late (because Mr. O made me accompany him from San Juan to Cubao for some canvassing for his new “stuff”), I arrived at their house around 8pm-ish so the shoot didn’t push through. Instead, we stalked our favorite bloggers and talked about other people on Tumblr. Things we love to do when we’re together. Hahaha. With all the knowledge and inside rumors we know about these cyber people, we can actually put up a blog about it. I guess that would really sell!!!

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She has a friend who came home from Singapore and bought her all these Instax films. You see, instax films are TOO EXPENSIVE here in the PH and so when she learned that it is being sold at almost half the price in Singapore, this happened. NOW ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ARE IN SINGAPORE, PLEASE DO PM ME NOW, lol. I know she wants to keep these for herself but I just had to convince her to give me a box for Php 200.00 plus I am sure she won’t say no because I traveled all my way up to Antipolo for her. HAHAHAHA love you Aia!

Monday again tomorrow, I only have two more weeks with Jollibee. I can’t explain how I am feeling right now but since it’s Sunday, I am just gonna sleep again. BYYYYEEE!

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#GrownUpProblems

I’ve been on hiatus for a week or so and it’s not even planned. I mean, yes, maybe I grew tired of blogging and/or reading blogs but I still do check out my Facebook. But last week, I just stopped. Didn’t touch any internet-powered stuff (my phone’s 3G is off) and just let my days pass without even bothering to know what’s happening in the social world. I guess I have to blame the results of the recent Senatorial election for the hiatus. Seeing the results just made me go beeenkk.

It felt good actually, the hiatus — to somehow detach from the internet, spend time alone, working on making myself more valuable.

I think I am having a quarter-life crisis or something. I feel like I just got lost or confused on what I really want to be, or do, or work on. I quit my job which I have been holding on for almost three years, took a risk on my dream company which BTW took me a month and a whole lot of torture before I got in (but I’m not complaining because it’s all worth it!!). Little did I know, that the decision I made has a huge (huge as in H-U-G-E) impact on the people I’m working with and it made me sad. I was crying for a day because I hate the fact that people are hurting because of me in which I don’t want to feel guilty about because, hey, it’s my decision to make and it’s my dream I am chasing, right? But I guess, for every action there’s always an equal/opposite reaction. 

Taking a new road, stepping out of my comfort zone is I guess, one of the bravest things I have done in my 23 years of living. They say I am blessed to get my dreams at a young age, and yes, I feel like I am and can never be any grateful because of that. But at the same time, I am still scared. Getting what you really want sometimes is more scary than not getting it. Because there’s a greater fear of losing it again, of hurting, of failing. But I will always remember what Nick Vujicic said : failure equals education and that if there’s one thing you really really want, you just gotta pursue it. I also believe that yes, good things happen to those who wait, but the greatest things in life happen to those who pursue! :D

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but lately I’ve realized that sometimes you have to put in the effort yourself to make something you want to happen, happen. And if it doesn’t end up working out, then you’ll know it wasn’t meant to be — but at least you tried. And hey, you can always try again! Things will work out. As long as you make an effort to make it happen.

 

Film Photography

mish1 005I don’t know what I deserve to have 2 out of my 3 wishes in a week! But whatever it is, I have nothing but gratitude and happiness! Haha! 

I went home this morning and saw this lying in my bed. I suddenly forgot that I had to go to work and prepare, I just jumped and hugged Mr. O and keep on telling him how giddy, happy and really really thankful I am for this. I tried shooting film in 2011 but my shots were all overexposed, I gave up. But inspired by Kimi and Angel, I have found my love and awe in film photography once again! I love the feeling of excitement to see your shots, and not taking every shot you’ve got for granted.

I just bought a roll and printed a manual. I’m gonna try this once I got the basics of it!! Yahhoooo!!

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